Family

 

What a beautiful day for Thanksgiving in Nebraska!  We had so much family come together and had such a great time.  I had so much fun taking pictures and playing with my new speedlight flash.  Right before sunset we decided we would grab those last rays of light and take a family picture outside.  I set up my tripod and my schmancy new flash.  We set the self timer, I jumped in the picture and….. voila!

I took this picture with my Nikon D3100, an 18-55 mm f/3.5-5.6 lens, my SB700 flash and the self timer.  (Let it be known that I use my 50mm f/1.8 so often that I was struggling for a minute with zoom and focus!!)  I set the white balance to “cloudy” which made the really rich, warm colors of fall stand out.  I cropped the photo a bit and used Pioneer Woman’s Color Boost in post-edit.

 

Cloud Factory

 

SuperGirl: “Mom, you know what that is?  It’s where they make clouds and blow them up into the sky.”

34 years ago another little girl riding down the highway with her Mom had an awe inspiring revelation and exclaimed: “So THAT’S where they make the clouds!!”

Like mother, like daughter.

What Have You Done Today that Makes You Proud?

I remember reading a parenting book when I was pregnant with SuperBoy and what resonated with me this idea:

As parents, we want to encourage our children, build their self esteem and make them realize that they can take on the world; do whatever they want to do. Consequently, we too often don’t allow them to fail. We also get busy and frequently offer “blanket praise”… a “That’s Great, Honey!”  Kids eventually realize that no matter how far out of the lines they color, we will say “That is amazing and beautiful!” The book went on to teach that not only can you be honest with your kids (gently and with a kind heart, of course) but that when you are praising them, be specific. Make your compliment or praise unique so that they realize it is not that blanket statement: “I really love the way you made the whole picture purple! It reminds me of grapes and those are my favorite fruit.”

I’ve tried very hard to adhere to that idea. To take those few extra seconds to be specific, to truly appreciate what they’ve done rather than spitting out a rote compliment.

Recently in a parenting group I attended at church it was suggested that while sharing with our children how proud we are of them, ultimately their self esteem must come from themselves….they need to be proud of themselves.  (Well, duh.  I hate it when something obvious finally becomes, well, obvious.)

So I readjusted my mindset and made a determined effort to say “You should be really proud that you chose to follow directions and get your room cleaned” … (or other such daydream material).

A few weeks later I had the revelation that while I was headed in the right direction…I was still telling them what to be proud of. The idea of pride in one’s own work was there…. it was however ultimately provided by me.

As being a parent is a very obvious progression and work in progress, I made another adjustment to my “style”.

Now, at the end of each day, I ask my two big kids, “What have you done today that makes you proud?”

I was stunned the first time I asked this question and got blank stares. They didn’t understand what I meant. *deflation of self-proclaimed master parent status*

We talked though what they did in the day and eventually landed on what they were proud of. Now SuperBoy(5) gets it and is starting to provide a quick reply. SuperGirl (3) still has a rough time with the definition of “proud”; she seems to think it means something she likes so I often get the answer “The dessert we had after dinner….”. I’m getting good at redirecting: “You mean that you are proud of yourself for making good decisions so you got to eat some yummy dessert?”

“NO! I mean the dessert!”

Okay.  We’re all learning.

What Have You Done Today that Makes You Proud?

I raised three beautiful children. 

Pictures of MoM(e)

I’m becoming so engrossed in my new photography obsession.  I LOVE taking pictures, exploring and learning about the way light works…. I definitely have found a new view of the world through the lens of my camera.

One thing I am NOT good about is having my own picture taken.

Outside the realm of my discoveries in photography I am, like most most moms, always behind the camera during family events, play dates…. in daily life.  I don’t end up in the pictures; and most of the time that is fine by me.  What inevitably ends up happening is that if I DO end up in the photos I am:

• At my kids’ birthday party and I’ve been baking/cleaning/wrapping presents all day and forgot didn’t have time to shower. I slapped on some make-up and did a do-over on my hair.  And it shows.
• Haggard.  I’ve been wrangling the family to birthday parties/family holidays/events and/or preparing for the same said events and I am sleep deprived.  Oh, and I forgot didn’t have time to shower, slapped on some make-up and did a do-over on my hair.  And it shows.
• Post Partum.  The largest number of photos of me that exist (outside of the plethora of pictures of my butt on my kids’ iPods) are at the hospital as I am or have just delivered my children.  I am both haggard and didn’t have time, energy or an ounce of care about showering.  Or putting on make-up.  Or doing my hair.  And I’m pale.  And fat.
• Wearing clothes that don’t fit.  Between pregnancy, breastfeeding and my normal struggles with a healthy diet I rarely have nice clothes that fit well.  My clothes aren’t appealing because they don’t fit right or if they do… they are in every picture I’m in because I’ve worn them to death.

There are times when I think about what my children will have to look at when I’m old and I cringe.  I have pictures of my grandma from when she was younger and she is beautiful.  Flawless.  And those pictures are in the days of pre-post-editing.  I have almost no pictures of my own mother and this makes me sad.  I want my kids to have pictures that remind them not only of what we did in our lives….but of me enjoying our life.

What’s a girl to do?

Oh, wait.  I have all of these amazing friends who take amazing photographs.

Last weekend I worked with 4 blogger friends who I adore, trust and with whom I can generate amazing ideas and content.

After re-tweeting a “Before and After” photo shoot on Twitter the other night, Sandie came to us and said:  I need to practice my portraiture and I want to try out something new.  I need guinea pigs and you all are it.

So along with writing, learning, and sharing over the weekend….we had some photos taken.  In clothes that fit. Fully showered.  Make-up and hair that was done with purpose and skill. (Did I mention there are no kids on this trip?)

The catch?  We were doing “Before” and “After” pics like the ones in the links above.

I was terrified.

But I made the conscious decision to let that go.  I was with people I love and trust.  The pictures aren’t going to be risque … they are meant to be beautiful.

There is no reason that I shouldn’t love having some pictures of myself.  So I  committed to loving them.

And love them I did.

There are many pictures from the shoot…and from pictures my friend Kristen took of Sandie taking pictures of me…that I love just as much because they remind me of how much fun we had.

And I’m going to post them.  Soon. (Along with pics of the beautiful B & B we stayed in …)

Promise.

 

 

 

 

Found Money

I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about “Found Time”…. this time I’ve got “Found Money” (on a side note…. if you say “Found” enough times…even in your head…it begins to look and sound weird no matter how you phrase it …. #random).

I made the unfortunate decision several years ago to sign up “Black Tie Service” at Best Buy when we purchased our first iPhones.  It seemed like a good decision with small children at home:  $15 a month, per phone…. for full replacement/repair should something happen to them beyond the scope of Apple Care.

When nearly a year had passed and we upgraded those phones to the iPhone 4 ….. we assumed that the “Black Tie” service plan would be cancelled.

It wasn’t.

Once we figured out that we were still being billed for the service plan, we had more miscommunication: I thought SuperDad was taking care of it, he thought I was… and somehow when I saw those $15 charges each month… I would think:  “I wonder what he bought at Best Buy?”

Seriously.

So now that I have upgraded my phone a second time since I first purchased that service plan that covers a phone I owned two phones ago…. and I still haven’t ever gotten around to cancelling the plan.

I called once and was on hold for so long that I simply couldn’t take it anymore: kids screaming, places to be, diapers to change…..

Last weekend I admitted this deep, dark secret to a close group of friends …. who lovingly proceeded to hound me several times each day this week until I got the damn thing cancelled.

There is no way to cancel this service online.  I had to sit on hold on the phone, again.  After 32 minutes I was able to talk to a customer service agent who was so very kind and pleasant to work with…..she even laughed light heartedly at with me as I fumbled through my disorganization that was the recollection of this financial debacle.

And you know what?  She not only cancelled the service … she refunded us the money from the time we purchased the iPhone 4s (4es?  4ss? 4²?).  I now have “Found Money”.  Money I didn’t have, money I won’t spend unnecessarily again.

 

Natural Consequences

Four months into the school year and we are still perfecting working on our morning routine.  We start around 6AM and don’t have to leave to get the kids where they need to go until 8:25.  That is 2.5 hours.  That should be PLENTY of time for a smooth morning.

I really don’t like the kids, especially SuperBoy, to start their day off stressed, or rushed.  I like to park and walk him across the crosswalk at school so that he isn’t subjected to the “Slow Down and Throw Your Kid from the Car” mentality of the drop off lane.  It is with a calm mindset that I want them to start their day.

Some days that works.

Others, when we are ready to walk out the door  SuperGirl, having previously been dressed, shows up with her backpack on…in her birthday suit.

Some days SuperBoy melts down because he has not had enough time to finish playing Legos/Puzzles/iPod.

My all time favorite, however, is when we walk out the door and SuperBaby lays out a four alarm, squishing out the top,  poopy diaper.

I’ve been discussing the idea of natural consequences with them.  Little bits at a time, pointing out what natural consequences are; both in their world and in the adult world.  I’ve prepped SuperGirl’s morning gymnastics instructors for the very distinct possibility that she will show up one day in her underwear (they are on board….giggling all the way).

This morning we had another little talk about it as we were getting ready.  Everyone did a GREAT job today.  Except for me.

I chose to sleep a little longer this morning instead of getting ready straight out of the gate.  As the morning went on I decided to get the dishwasher running and respond to an email from my Mother in Law about Thanksgiving before getting dressed.

And then it was time to go.

The kids were ready.  I contemplated throwing some clothes on while they got in the car and waited for me. I have NEVER dropped off in my pajamas.  Ever. Chances were, though,..this would make us just one minute too late for school.

So I took this as a teaching moment: my natural consequences for the choices I made this morning were that I would have to take SuperBoy to school in my pajamas.  I said “I really hope I don’t have to see anyone today!  I made bad choices with my time this morning”.  I patted myself on the back: the kids didn’t have to know that I planned to go through the drop off lane; our morning had been so calm and pleasant I figured it would be okay this once.

 

We get to school and had missed “the sweet spot”:  that time right before all of the parents arrive en mass trying to get their kids dropped off in time for first bell.  This meant that we very possibly would not be able to get SuperBoy through the line in the 5 minutes before bell.  Doing what was best for my child now meant I was going to have to get out of the car and walk him across the crosswalk.

In my pajamas.

 

 

I sucked it up.  The kids said “Everyone is going to laugh at you!” and followed with monumental laughter (we have not yet reached the stage where I embarrass them with my appearance).

As they halted traffic for us to cross the walk I joked with the teacher in charge: “Today we’re teaching natural consequences!”  She laughed.

SuperBoy hugged me and ran off into the school and I returned, unspotted by most, to my van.  As I slipped into the warmth of my heated leather seats, I saw sitting in my cup holder: SuperBoy’s water bottle.  He had specifically wanted to take a drink with him today.  He had asked about the bottle on the way out the door and I offered to grab it for him.  Rather than handing it to him when I climbed in, I stuck it in my cup holder and promptly forgot.

I was going to have to take it to him.

In his classroom.

I drew a deep breath and grabbed the cup.  I marched it up to the door of SuperBoy’s classroom when another teacher offered to take it in to him.  “Bless You”, I say as I turned and high tailed it back to my car.

Reflective Afternoon

 

 

I have decided its time to start sharing a few more of my photos here, I’m never going to learn without subjecting myself to constructive criticism.  As I’m experimenting I’m going to start putting the pics up here and there …. if for no other reason than to make myself; to overcome my own criticisms.

Saturday afternoon I went outside and sat and took pictures of this seating at this pond….for about 45 minutes.  I played with the settings on my camera: white balance, pictures settings, aperture, shutter speed, ISO… I’m trying to learn more specifically how each step, each little change, affects my pictures. 50 pictures later, this is the one I liked the best.

This picture has a little bit of editing I did in Picnic: I straightened the image, cropped just a tad off of the edge and added a bit of a vignette to darken the edges.  I shot this with my Nikon and a 50mm f/1.8 at around 3:30pm.

Home Again

After spending my weekend working and melding minds with my friends, I returned home.

I am tired.  I am really not able to think.

But I walked in the door to the happiest little faces and suddenly nothing else matters.

SuperBoy’s face lit up and he threw his arms around me …. then launched into great detail about the space ship he was building in the basement out of an old box from when we purchased our microwave last year.

SuperGirl woke from her nap slightly after I arrived home and still rubbing her eyes asked me to come to her room “Right away!” to see what had happened:

She had cleaned her room.  Nothing short of a miracle itself…. I was impressed she had worked on it when I wasn’t home.  “I keened my room so you would come back to see it!”

SuperBaby was the last one to realize that Mom had arrived … and when he came toddling out of his bedroom after nap he saw me and broke into a full run. “Mahmma! HOME!” He hugged me and crawled right into my lap….and made that his “Home” for the next half an hour.

Delightful.

We ate cheese and crackers, fruit and veggies and homemade twix bars for dinner while we watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Santa Clause is comin’ to town.

I am so glad to be home again.

About Me

I’m spending my weekend in Bonner Springs, KS working with some of my girlfriends on our blogs.  Our plans were to clean things up and catch up on our “To Do” lists…. the things that always get shoved to the bottom of the list and sort of hang over our heads.

On my “To Do” list is to update my “About” page here at SuperJenn.  With much encouragement from my lovely friends…. I finally got it done.

So if you want to know more about ME …and what I pretend to do here…. visit my About Page.

 

Photo Credits to Sandra Hale Photography

 

What I learned This Week

Social media is something that I love.  I love the connections I have with people all over the country; the world.

When we felt tremors from an earthquake in Oklahoma, all the way in Kansas last week my first response was to go to social media for answers.  And I got them faster than any other news source.

When I am struggling, when I need advice…heck, when I don’t want to call the doctor because I’m afraid I’m just overreacting yet again to the tiny haze of a rash on my son’s leg…. I turn to social media.

A day spent with my children is wonderful/tiresome/overwhelming and often lonely.  Having social media at my beck and call connects me to a world of adults, knowledge, politics and humor that isn’t readily available from my current companions.

But this week I learned that there are times I wish I could turn it off.  I wish that I could X out the things I don’t want to see or hear.  I learned that the drama other people implore upon what has become my personal space feels like pollution.

I actually commented to a group of blogging friends earlier this evening that my chosen circle of friends within social media…the close friends and family that I keep consistent tabs on, does not suffer from the drama I so often hear about with Facebook or Twitter.

My family is hurting.  We all handle it differently.  It is more difficult than I would have thought in a situation like this, to deal with the way others implore social media when it affects my life so personally.

 

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